Tuesday, August 23, 2005


Thor god of thunder, small but could hold a heavy hammer, with a heart of gold and a will of iron the youth sage turned anger into his tool of justice. I named my dog Thor, thirteen years ago, today he was ‘put down’. After many fruitless attempts of medication supplements the age, the heat and some ignorance of the severity of his condition he woke this morning not able to move. Not able to stand, with all his senses, my dog was paralyzed probable cause mosquitoes and heart worm. Thor was a natural hero, a German Shepard who knew the dangers of deep waters, but was never taught, he just knew. He was full of love, and duty. He loved his brothers and sisters of another species, cats. Now he is with his dog brother Scruffy, his poodle brother who was ran over by a red neck who I am sure was encouraged that a dead poodle would make statement during the elections of 2004. Scruffy welcomed his bigger brother with bounces and yelps of joy, even tears. Both had tears, just as mine have ran a river of his passing today. Thor a gentle wolf I called him, was a very good dog. He knew what love was, he gave love thru his good nature. He was born to do water rescue, no one was in danger of going too deep when he was near the water, not even his little brother Scruffy. Today I know I do not have to worry about my dog being took care of he is now without that need. But I worry about another, one I love and may loose, but unlike the loose of Thor this would be of all my own doing.
My family slowly falls away from me thru death, thru life’s changes they part. Thru independence they may fly with grace I hope, with some nudges and not pushes or they tumble. The souls of my friends and loved ones resides in beast, human and animal. The beast of some are illustrated with sharp teeth, hair, tails and claws and others better hidden away only to surface to respond to pain, hurt or just from hate, the human kind.
My dog was family like many who love their pets I could not watch him suffer, nor could I just leave him to suffer without a care. Thru being selfless for others I neglected the one most important than myself, an angel who’s wings held me with so much love. Wide open waiting to hold me again with feathered cradle, the thunder and pain of Thor ever breaking thru the peaceful scents of jasmine that linger in a green and pink cloud. The guilt would stain the soft comforting love with blame and fault. Golden quails I grow for flight, let’s do this right, flooded with emotion. Pressures beyond reason from every direction, I escape to the green thicket with mossy beds. The forest holds me cold, embraced me with hard barked limbs, shield me from the dew with its leaves, I wandered there searching for the right answer.
Releasing me from obligations is not escaping, rather accepting more. This I must do, this love can not be lost, I must give this love back with more. Not with hast, not for fun but for all the reasons that glide with the wings of love. Conception we gave this entity love that only we can share, nature pits us against the winds and contentions only greats my journeys attempts. My love has the will to live, but only in truth the answer was. Truth lifts our wings, we spiral in flight thru the clouds gathered atop snow covered peaks. For there our heaven is made, and there to embracing angel wings I must proceed. Time lays await to ambush me tomorrow, time is the thief.

Love provides.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The love you speak of is the one I now live. Wanting it to be once more. Time is the theft this one I know. My love is endless wanting to grow, as the Sun sets, I will fight no more.

The words you spoke about your pet, I feel them too, my pet is family my Son. I love him with all my heart. I feel your pain in this.

Thank you for writing the beautiful words. I enjoy reading them.

Colorado Springs, Colorado

Tue Sep 27, 05:02:00 PM EDT  

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